I am grateful for a good, supportive husband. He's done nearly all of the dishes the past week and a half. And I'm grateful for my daughters who still love me, even after I'm nasty to them. So, I think my plan of action is to pray more sincerely for help, give more thanks, read and study, and try to endure the best I can.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Ever feel?
Do you ever feel like a loser? Sad to say, but that's really how I feel. So the past week and a half have been hard for me. Really hard. Of course, I know a lot of you out there are also going through really hard stuff to, and my hat's off to you for seemingly keeping it together. In all honesty, I feel like I'm slipping into a depression. I seriously wish I could sleep all of the time. And not clean. And not be a mom. My fuse is really short with my kids. I could care less about my eating & exercise habits. It's sad. I feel like I'm drowning & don't know how to get out. It's weird, because every few days I feel like I have a good, normal day. And then it comes back. I wish I could run away, but I know that will not solve my issues.
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15 comments:
You're definitely not alone. I get like this sometimes. I hope your action plan works well for you. Sometimes time is the only thing that seems to help me.
So sorry things feel so bad. I understand how hard it is to deal with normal life when you are depressed. After our miscarriage in March 2007 I went into a depression (although I didn't realize that's what it was until I was coming out of it). I was sad, and honestly, angry at God. I stopped praying and reading my scriptures. I went to Church and served in my calling as YW President, but I was just going through the motions. (I feel bad now that I wasn't the best President for my girls.) It wasn't until I realized that I needed to draw closer to God and ask for His help that I was able to get out of it. Obviously, you seem to be doing the right things, so repentance is not your problem, but my point is that some trials are too big for us to overcome on our own. That's why Christ suffered the Atonement, so that we could be made strong. I tried so many times to fix my life and be happy, but I couldn't do it alone. It wasn't until I trusted in the Lord and prayed for His help that things got better. He helped me to make the changes in my life that would lead me to happiness, and He eventually blessed me with the gift of peace.
I hope you don't mind the serious nature of this comment. I really feel for you. I will pray that you can get out of this depression.
I don't have much to say in the way of advice because I can't keep my own emotions under control. But I love you and have always looked up to you. :) If you need a babysitter so you can take a little TLC for yourself, you can always call.
*hugs*
You'll find a way. Love you sis!
I think a lot of moms feel that same way. I hope you can feel better soon.
You truly are not alone and I agree with Sandi,that I know the more I pray and read my scriptures my days get better and are easier. Just be patient with yourself, do your part and the Lord WILL help. I went through this when the kids were about 3 yrs old and sometimes I feel like I am now. Keep your chin up!!
I'm going to email you right now.....
Love you!
I love this talk from Stephen Robinson called "With Healing in his Wings." It is on KBYU.com.
This book has also helped me too
Reaching for Hope: An LDS Perspective on Recovering from Depression.
I also know a great therapist. Her name is Tammy Heaton she really helped me to get back to feeling like myself. Her number is 801-234-0613. Sometimes it is nice to talk to someone who isn't in your life and to get their advice and perspective. Also talk to your Dr. and see if antidepressants will help. I know with that little white pill, I am me and without it I am someone completely different. I just want you to know you aren't alone that many people are here to help you get back to being you.
Let me know if you need anything my door is always open. Nancy
Yes I think everyone feels like a loser every now and then! And I think everyone gets short with their kids! You're not alone.
Sometimes a good book helps me get out of the dumps. Something fun to get your mind off of things and escape into a fantasy world for a while! I know you're not into following the crowd with books, but I have Twilight books 1-3 :) yes the movie was very cheesy, but the books are addicting! It's seriously a nice change to your day! So really come borrow Twilight and Harry Potter! They should keep you busy for a while and you'll thank me later!
And I think if the weather hadn't been so crappy this week we would all be feeling better! How can we be happy when there's snow on April 16th??? And look at the bright side pretty soon it will be gardening season and you’ll once again be the fresh produce queen! I am always happier in the summer than the winter.
Have you ever thought about going to work? Maybe you could go do accounting work somewhere part time. That way you can get out of the house more and socialize with adults and you could get a break from the kidlets??? Just an idea…I really don't know anything though so my advice isn’t that great!
PS I rarely keep my house clean. Oh but you probably already knew that.
Hope you get feeling better soon!
I'm sorry! I think we all feel that way at times...life is such an emotional roller coaster! I hope that things start looking up for you!
I am so sorry, Keri! I hope you find a way to feel like yourself again. You amaze me and deserve to feel healthy and happy!!
I feel like that sometimes. I dont get out of that until I make my self do more. Maybe you should do meds? I love you!
I appreciate you sharing your feelings because I have felt this way too but I never admit it. I do have to tell you that to me, You always seem to have it all together. I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Even though life doesn't just come together in a snap you seem to be on the right track with what you want to do to make things better.
Wouldn't it be great if we could just get a bunch of girls together for a girls weekend...a nice vacation away at a cabin or something? Just hanging out and having fun. Yeah, maybe you just need a break which you sooo deserve. I hope you start feeling better soon.
I am just coming through a two or three month period of that myself...ah, womanhood. :) All I know is that, it's okay to feel this way sometimes!
P.S. Thanks for sharing.
I don't think you're alone feeling like this at all, I think every woman feels like this at times. You'll pull through, love ya and I'll keep ya in my prayers! I wish I lived closer and I'd kidnap you for a girls night out...chocolate, movies, ice cream, talking until the wee hours of the morning, the whole works!
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